June 6, 2013 - Day 61

June 6, 2013 - Day 61

Life is really hard right now. It pretty much sucks most of the time. My super demanding, incredibly stressful job has become my refuge. I cannot even begin to express how sad that is.
I have occasional moments of joy - When Faith and I can have a nice chat; when I read Brody his bedtime story; when I hear that Bella has overcome a fear or is having a really good day. Mostly we are just limping through the days and when I pause to reflect, I pray that this experience does not have any lasting negative effect on my kids. I also pray that it ends soon.
The last two days have not been good for Bella. She did not have formal therapy on Wednesday so Brian took her to Lockhart with him (& Faith & Brody) for part of the day. He hoped to get her out & moving but she would not work. She did the exercises on her calendar but not well.
Thursday Bella did have therapy but she did not do well. At home in the evening, she was resistant to working and very emotional. I had to force her to eat. Faith tried very hard to help Bella with stretches but Bella just whined that she wanted daddy.
I have been playing phone tag with the social worker at dell. I'm trying to get referrals & recommendations for in-home therapy to go along with the OP therapy Bella is getting. If we have to pay out of pocket, we will but I'm hoping insurance will cover it. I am also trying to find out if insurance will cover massage therapy. Bella desperately needs some massages. I've been working on her hips the last 4 nights. I'm not usually good at noticing where a muscle is tight, but oh my goodness are Bella's glutes and hips TIGHT! I'll get her in somewhere very soon - with or without insurance approval/coverage. I'm just concerned about finding a person/place that can dell appropriately with a child with nerve issues.
I've gotten a referral for a counselor so I'll be calling her tomorrow.
I'm falling asleep now so I'll sign off. Praying tomorrow is a better day and that we can motivate Bella through the weekend.